So I know I’m not crazy popular and I have like -4 followers on here xD lol but I made a new blog and doing my best to make it more official.

So If you want to check it out it’s

It’ll be awesome if you follow, but totally cool and understandable if you don’t ❤

There’s not much on there now, but I have ideas!

Also I’m taking it really slow because I’m moving in a new house AND I’m struggling in school a bit T^T.


And I Miss You So…

My aunt Glenda has been sedated after having multiple surgeries and fighting leukemia. She was left in a coma and wasn’t expected to wake up.

In my last post I was going on about going to her. I’m finally writing that I made it.

I made it to her just in time.

My other aunt picked me up from the air port and we spent the rest of the day together at the hospital with my other aunt.

I finally saw what she looked liked…

it was scary at first but then I got use to seeing her. But I miss seeing the real her. I missed so much HEARING her.The whole night I thought she would wake up as I held her hand and greet with her usual greeting “Hey Ida Bear!”

I hoped since I was so close to her that a miracle would happen and she would wake up for me.

The reality of it all was disappointing. Upsetting. And wish my fairy tail mind was the truth.

I was the only one with her when she passed the next morning after I arrived.

Around this time I started thinking about my Chinese zodiac animal. Its a dog.

I thought of how dogs are loyal and loving creatures, and hoped she saw me that way.

Till Death Do Us Part…

Its August 6th of 2016 and I’m sitting here at the airport waiting to board my flight that was set for me three hours ago. My eyes burn and my head hurts. I’m waiting and wondering how different she looks.

During the drive I still wondered how she looks now, and playing back slideshows in my head from the memories we had together. And all the great adventures she took me on.

It’s hard to believe that she’s almost gone, and I’m just hoping I’ll make it in time to be with her. See and hug her one last time. Before she officially leaves me for good.

Everything changed for me when I was sixteen years old, three days before my junior year of high school started.

Complicated family issues accord where I was only able to stay at my school with friends i’ve grown up with just for my first semester of 2011.

I had the choice to live with my older sister in December. But her and her husband were planning to have another baby, and having their own family things going on. I love my sister so much and she has done so much for me, but I felt the best choice was to live with my aunt who was the only other person willing to take me in. For that I’m entirely grateful.

But she did so much more than just take me in, she went infinity and beyond.

It was on December 18th of the year 2011 I left Oklahoma, my home, to Okinawa. It didn’t hit me till maybe the second flight that I was leaving and there was no say to when I would be moving back. The transition was hard. I didn’t have many friends the first few months after moving. I made one amazing friend off the bat, but she moved the day before my birthday. That was another big bummer. My 17th birthday coming up. She still wanted me to have a good day, but i pretty much didn’t have any friends at that time to celebrate with. She still threw me a birthday party anyway, but with her friends. It was definitely a birthday I’ll never forget. I tried some kind of little mini pastry pie that looked good with a grey tinted whip cream on it. Yeah, that was actually whipped pig liver i think… Aunt Glenda and everyone else had a good laugh at my reaction, except for one of her friends. Her friend said I was too young to know what good food taste like and then went to get her self some whipped pig liver pie…! There’s an actual name to that pie thing but I can’t remember what it’s called. Even when I’m older I’m pretty sure I’ll never love whipped pig liver. And I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that didn’t like it.

My aunt was so good to me, and she wanted to show me the world. Well, mostly Asia but still….

I would have never traveled so much in my life if it wasn’t for her. She truly loved going out seeing and learning about new places, cities, and countries. We traveled to hong kong, Taiwan, South Korea, the Philippine Islands TWICE, and all over mainland japan!

We went to temples, tried different foods, got lost, and everything was an adventure.

She gave me the gift of love and adventure! How many 21 year olds… no… even then… how many 18 year olds could say they traveled to so many places!?


She’s not officially gone yet and I miss her so much. she Has been by my side through so much more. And I was by her’s as well. She was there for me through my first heart break, and when I was being bullied for the first times ever in my life.

I was there best I could be when her husband died, her good friend going through sickness, and the death of her very beloved dog, Pancho Via. For how much she loves that dog I’m glad she’s able to be with him again.

We needed each other from the moment I lived with her. Four years. Even after I moved out and went on my own in college I still thought about her. She started worrying more about her cancer back on the island. I felt like there wasn’t anything I could do to help her feel better. So I contacted Zach who I started dating for a short while at this time, and asked him if he could do me a favor. Just deliver some flowers to Aunt Glenda. Well, he ended up taking her on a lunch date and the joke about her stealing my boyfriend started!

That was the least I could then.

This morning I woke up and my first thought was to check my phone to see if anyone text me any news about Aunt Glenda. No messages. As I got ready for work I started thinking of her a little more. Awhile after driving I felt so sad out of nowhere and really missed her. I finally made it to work with dry eyes and feeling better only for the next hour. I couldn’t stay any longer nor could I keep my self up. I finally burst where my body just broke down crying and grieving with the feeling of a huge urge to go to her and be with her.

I booked a flight to leave in four hours to Houston. I lasted at work for only an hour.

It’s August 6th. And I’m just wondering, waiting, and reminiscing.